Friday, October 14, 2005

Why Now???

Have anyone of you ever think, of all the time u have on earth, why now???why did the tumour in ur head is giving u trouble when you are deeply in love, why did ur car broke down while u are going for an important meeting???why did your pc got to hang when u are registering important things???why no electric supply when you are studying for finals???the question is WHY NOW???now, some of u might ask, why not now???

life is unpredictable , that the challange that god has given to everyone of us...fair!is up to us to fight , to live beautifully or sucky mud life...if our life is predictable, then they will be no fun, no joy, everything is as planned...

At least human being don't know when are they going to die...but at least someone should know...someone should know the prefect answer to the prefect question,juz that who is he going to tell, or he might not tell anyone at all...

When things are with us for a certain amount of time, its really hurt when you know that he is leaving us soon.
For example, fish...if u are an expect , u get them and take care of them, and they life long, if u don't they might juz live a few days and die...you won't feel anything, no heart-feelings, except for the amount of money you spend on it.
Rabbit...one that came to your home, u kept him as a pet, for a few months then it suddenly runaway from home...sad feeling, yeah maybe a couple of hours, hoping that the rabbit wil come back, day by day...weeks by weeks...then out of a sudden...u already forget about it already...when u suddenly remembers of it...
Dog...that u eventually grows up with ...spending the time with...playing with...so much fun u had with him...and the amount of time that u spend with him, you know he is not going to live longer than u , u know he will surely leave u , juz u don't know when...then suddenly he falls sick, and then gets well, a few more years with you...guess that's the time u should really appreciate him...u can see that his hair get thinner and thinner, whiter and whiter, won't be able to hop on you anymore...guess that's the time u should really appreciate him...well, i din get that chance, perhaps i was stupid and dumb...until he was really sick...unable to eat, unable to drink, super lightweight...not as chubby as usual...when i touches him, i can feel his bone...when u look into his eyes, u can see his tears slowly flows out...he can't talk, but people says dog is man's best friend!!!they surely can feel, and u can too...Once a Fighter alwiz a fighter, but fighter can grow old too, its not who u've won...it who u have lost to...and the enemy that we all usually lost to is ourself, organs starts to malfunctions, then slowly shut downs, no one can do anything about it, transplant???too old for that...

so much things that we've done...to give comfort to him, but are we really giving it to him???
at the end of the day, he is still suffering...with no enegry to walk around, but when he sees us, he will use all his might to cheer us up, he will try his best to stand up, he will try his best to walk out from his cage!!!Stand Firm with his 4 limbs...and still whack his tail...despite all the pain all over his body...
if i was him, i will surely give up...i've been enjoying my life far too much!!!
i can't even walk a mile...but i bet he can...

guess it the time we spend together was so long...almost 10 years or even more than that....the bond between baby and our family was like he was one of us...althought he was juz a dog, but he guarded our house!!!small but fierce, u should hear him bark!!!10 yrs...that's why we felt so sad when we know that he is going to leave us...but we can't juz sit there and watch him suffer more...he was unable to eat, sooner or later he will leave us,so the vet advise us to put him to sleep, for his own good...it was a hard decision for us to accept...but i bet it's even harder to make the decision...it's like killing their own son, the son that wakes them up every morning, sitting right in front of the bedroom door waiting for them to come out from it and greet them good morning!!!

I guess the longer u keep a thing, no matter is dead or living thing, when u lost it...u will feel sad...
when ppl ask u to change your 15 yrs old car that has been taking u everywhere u wanna go, though sometimes it will breakdown, but for u , u will juz think its a small matter, in other ppl's eyes the car may seems to be a old scrap metal, but to u , he is more than that...

that's why when our loves one passed away, we will feel sad, cuz they had been with us for a super long time, some half a century, some more than a decade...plus the bond...everything sums up together...LOVE.

1 comment:

Shin Yee said...

no one has answers.. until this very day ... i miss him. i still think each time i arrive, he;'ll be greeting me at the door. he'll be asking me for food. he'll be there.... it's hard. it one of the hardest thing i ever said yes to. But i also think of him with all his friends in Heaven.. He is well now. no tubes, no drips. everything is well. every part of him. and i know, one day.. i will see him again :) that , is the only thing that brings peace in my heart.. -- in tears --