25 days...

25 days more to my birthday...for the past 21 yrs, i never had a real birthday party, party as in every of my fren is invited, lots of ppl, juz like those in movie...i remember when i was small, i think when i was 12, my mum prepared a birthday party for my sister, then i requested the same from her...i hate to admit this but i don't have a good memory, so i forget the real situation and the age thing...

But i think is more or less like that added with some emotional content to make readers cry...

So, back to my birthday when i was 12, mum fried chicken, my favorite that time was drumstick, and also fried rice with decoractive chilli on top...i still remember that time, it was juz the 5 of us,my dad, my mum,my brother,my sister and me. but i was really happy to be with my family...better than now celebrating my birthday at wong kok enjoying the free teh baldi...the more people, u dun get to exchange words much, people tends to split into groups..and after having their meal, they pass u the present , sing birthday song, make wishes, blow candle , eat cakes, and take pictures..that's all, the next thing u know, they are all going back...

so again , back to the birthday part...althought that time was juz 5 of us, i feel really happy, mayb i was still a kid, i did not know wat trouble means, i do not know wat is tension, all i do is juz go to class, do homework, and exam...as i grew up...things such as problems tends to crops up...

enjoying my life too much whenever i am free, whereas my dad is busy with work, he is approaching 60yrs old, and still working...whenever i reach home on friday , he will be later than me, he is really ageing, white hair, i can see that he is pretty much tired from work , and also the stress from work...and the pressure from family...means me...he is alwiz worried that i had not enough money,car no petrol, and my allowance...but my dad dun seems to care about himself, his health...he's been coughing so frequently...maybe this way, i will appreciate my parent more...i will give up anything for them , yes!anything...

cuz when i was small, my dad used to take care of me , while my mum is working 2 job simultaneously, jus to buy milk powder for me...that time we were poor....yes....we were that poor, as both of my brothers and sister are still schooling...and i am juz a baby...i alwiz thinks that i am a burden to the family...without me, their life would be much more easier...my dad got to take care of me and din get a good rest that he deserves to, and working at the age of retiring because of me...this is the disadvantage to have a kid when u are almost 40, by the time ur kid going into uni , u are already 60, uni expenses are quite high, not to mention ppl nowadays like to send their children to overseas...by the age of 60, when ur hand is shaking and the words that are coming out from ur mouth is not clear, u think ppl still will employ u ??unless u are a lecturer...a kind lecturer, that also depends what sector u are in...in certain sector , people tends to choose young ppl...more robust..haha...(sounds like machine).i think i am spending too much, i am not even working and yet i spend more than any other family members...i do not know why, that is the sad part...
i should actually apologise to my parents, cuz i am spending too much...my uni tuition fees is the most expensive compare to my bro and sis, my allowance also...i dun think my bro and sis got allowance when they were in college and uni...i dun think they got a hp too when they were in studying college or uni...


my mum also has been saving money all these while...she is not buying anything unless is necessary...she dun go on trip so often...but recently, her bank account is almost empty...becuz of me...and i am not producing any result...again sad case...no mood to con'd anymore...i shall work harder to prove myself...

cheers
ming